


Confident in our masculinity

by Zauzat



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Air England sky gods, M/M, Pre-MJN, kink meme prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-17
Updated: 2012-08-17
Packaged: 2017-11-12 08:24:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/488738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zauzat/pseuds/Zauzat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for naughty_captain_crieff for her kink meme prompt: "I am not ashamed to say that the part of Rotterdam where they are trying to out smooth-talk one another for the video leaves me blushing and squirming in my seat. I mean come on, those voices. So, I would really like Herc and Douglas (pre MJN) trying to seduce one another- for a bet obviously- but it becoming so unbearably heated that they just end up shagging frantically anyway."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confident in our masculinity

**Author's Note:**

> This is Douglas and Herc while still at Air England, so back in the 1990s. The language reflects some fairly casually homophobic and misogynistic attitudes

It was a truth universally acknowledged that if the pilots of Air England weren't talking about sex, it was only because they'd paused briefly to order another round of drinks. 

"She blew me off, I can't believe it," grumbled the young pilot as he slammed the door to the pilots' lounge closed behind him. "She flies for some two-bit regional non-entity and she turned me down. Me! An Air England First Officer!"

The captains collectively raised an eyebrow. Any first officer worth his salt knew not to disturb the captains in the pilots' lounge without a very good excuse. Something verging on the airport burning down might do. Privileges of rank required that all FOs knew their place.

"Well, clearly you're failing to live up to the Air England uniform, if you can't even pull a regional stewardess. Bringing shame to the airline, don't you think, Herc?"

The erring FO cringed at the disdainful drawl. Catching the attention of Captain Douglas Richardson was never a good idea, not with his biting wit, unfailing track record with women and close friendship with the Chief Pilot. 

"Indubitably disgraceful," replied Captain Hercules Shipwright with a smirk. "You, FO whatever-your-name-is, best leave the women alone until your balls have finally dropped."

The pilot seethed silently. He'd flown with both of them as an FO, carried their flight bags, done their paperwork, cleaned up after them, watched every stewardess on board forget his existence as they were drawn into the sexual orbit of the two most successful womanizers in the airline. And they couldn't even be bothered to remember his name.

"The secret is to have absolute confidence in your masculinity," said Douglas with a derisive grin. "Whether they accept you or reject you, you take it with absolute equanimity, with a grace and charm that'll have them coming back to you later in the evening once they've had to put up with a few fools like you."

"What you don't do, old chap, is flounce off like a teenage girl and sulk in the pilots' lounge. Boys like you just make it easier for men like us," continued Herc in his most condescending tone. 

"Oh yeah?" snapped the pilot, his humiliation flaring into anger. He'd been a captain at his last airline, dammit. FO at Air England had seemed like a step up. That'd been before he realized how insufferable the Air England captains were and how hard it was to break into their magic inner circle. "Why don't you show us how _confident_ you are in your masculinity? I bet you don't have the guts to snog another man!"

A hushed silence spread through the lounge. You had to be a very confident pilot indeed to take on Richardson and Shipwright. So realistically, either the Chief Pilot's son-in-law or a man who already had a job offer from another airline. 

"Oh, you're _that_ kind of pilot are you, all big talk about women while wiggling your arse in the hope other men will notice?" sneered Douglas. "Sorry darling, but your skinny little butt really doesn't float my boat. If I'm going to flirt with a man, he'll be a real man." He gave Herc an ostentatious wink.

"Why Douglas, darling, I didn't know you felt that way about me," replied Herc, letting his voice drop, giving up his smoothest smile. "So exactly how confident are you with your masculinity?" 

Douglas grinned back, slouching down in his spacious black leather armchair and letting his thighs spread. "Why Hercules, very comfortable indeed. But sometimes it takes a proper man to appreciate such things."

"Well now, we can't let a dare like that go unanswered, can we?" said Herc. He turned to look at the erring FO. Every eye in the lounge was now focused on Herc and Douglas, which frankly was just the way the two captains liked it. "So whatever-your-name-is, what's it worth if we snog?"

The pilot hesitated, trapped like a rabbit caught in a hunting light. If he backed down, he'd be universally despised by the other Air England pilots. If he took on the two captains directly and lost, the result would be the same. He glanced round frantically, looking for a friendly face, an ally. There were none to be seen. 

"Well, my Mercedes could do with a jolly good wash," mused Herc. "Douglas, I'm sure your Lexus needs the same?"

"Oh Herc, what an excellent idea. To be done in the pilots' carkpark, in uniform." Both captains turned to the FO with identical smirks. "Well?"

"And if you don't do it?" demanded the pilot, determined not to back down until he absolutely had to. 

"Oh we're going to do it," said Douglas, with a grin like a shark. "A handsome thing like Hercules here, how could a man say no?"

"Douglas darling, you say the sweetest things. I'm sure your lips are as delicious as your words," replied Herc smoothly.

Everyone in the room waited tensely. The two captains famously never lost their bets and they were clearly mocking the young FO. And yet, to actually touch another man _like that_ publicly, well, that would be something. It was all very well for stewards to be limp at the wrist, but pilots, captains, gods of the sky, were expected to be resolutely heterosexual, plundering the beds of swooning stewardesses at every opportunity. Just how far were the two captains prepared to go to prove their point?

Douglas turned his full focus on Herc, who sat in the armchair next to him. He let his voice drop into a deeper register, let his words roll with rhythmic sensuality. "I can promise you the most wonderfully pleasant time." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Herc grinned, his mellifluous voice flowing like dark honey. "Douglas, dearest, why don't you come over here, relax and enjoy the ride."

"Don't mind if I do, old boy," smirked Douglas, his voice as smooth as 25-year-old Talisker. "I'm sure you provide an absolutely splendid ride."

"Oh darling," teased Herc, "with your reputation, I'm expecting the most awfully lovely, super-scrumptious time."

Douglas pushed his armchair up against the armrest of Herc's and leaned across the arms, letting them provide a solid barrier to anything below the waist. He put a hand confidently round the back of Herc's neck, feeling the short hair bristle under his hand.

"Just you relax, baby, and let Captain Sex-God Richardson take control," murmured Douglas, letting his lips pout into kissing shape close to Herc's mouth.

Herc slide a hand into Douglas's thick long hair and tugged gently. "With this lot, I'm pretty sure you're the girl, sweetcheeks. Why not let Captain Sinful Shipwright show you how it's done?" He slid forward and pressed his lips slowly, showily, against Douglas's pouting mouth. 

Douglas tilted his head obligingly to the side and for long moments they relaxed into the soft press of lips and skin and gently roaming fingertips.

Douglas pulled back just an inch and whispered quietly enough that their audience couldn't hear, "Tongue?"

"Why not?" replied Herc softly, shivering lightly as Douglas teased the short hairs on the nape of his neck. "Let's show these losers how to do it properly." He pulled back further, raised his voice and purred in his warmest tones. "Oh Douglas! Douglas darling! Take me, I'm yours!"

Douglas dropped his voice to its lowest register and growled. "Hercules! Press me to your pounding bosom!" Douglas licked his lips lasciviously and very obviously captured Herc's open mouth with his own, managing to swallow down Herc's fit of laughter. They slid their arms around each other, offering their very best Hollywood kiss, mobile lips, agile tongues, eating into each other's mouths, sliding into warmth and heat and silky softness, into cascading desire and growing--

"Jesus, Douglas, we need to calm down." It was Herc who managed to pull back, whispering urgently to his friend while trying to control his ragged breathing. 

Douglas sucked in a deep breath and pulled back smoothly, turning to their flabbergasted audience with a nonchalant smile. "So, I think that proves the point. Herc, your car keys?"

Herc gave his keys to Douglas who tossed them across to the mortified FO, along with his own. "And I expect you to do a tip-top job, no shirking, get right up there under the wheel arches," he ordered. "And you-- What's your name? Harris, Hermann, something?" He snapped his fingers at another young pilot. "Harrow, sir," replied the man. "Right, Harrow. See the what's-his-name there does a first class job and be sure to get some pictures."

"Why? Where are _you two_ going?" demanded the humiliated pilot, trying for one last chance to get in a dig. 

"Why, we're off to pull some stewardesses, of course," replied Douglas casually. "This thing," he waved between himself and Herc. "This is all very well for a warm up, but when a man needs to get the job done, obviously he needs a handful of warm, wet pussy. We're off to go hunting."

He and Herc left the lounge to the sound of relieved laughter from their audience as the world tipped back up the right way, with heterosexuality firmly back in its centre. 

Herc grabbed his arm and pulled him down the corridor and round a corner to where they had some privacy. "Good Lord, Douglas, did you have to push it so far? You are one hell of a cocktease."

"Why Herc old chum, did the earth move for you?" smirked Douglas.

"Don't give me that, you were gone too. If I hadn't reminded you where the hell we were--" Herc took a deep breath. "Christ, I don't know if I can last long enough to go on the pull."

Douglas leaned against the wall next to Herc, carefully not looking at him. "Well, we could just take the quick way out and-- you know--"

Herc shot him a surprised look. "You mean--"

"Yes. Just this once. Of course it wouldn't _mean_ anything. Just friends-- you know--"

"Giving each other a helping hand," supplied Herc.

"Exactly."

"We need somewhere we definitely won't be disturbed," said Herc slowly, thinking hard. "I know, that disabled loo on the admin mezzanine level."

"Good thinking, that good old Heathrow special. Put the disabled loo on a floor where the lift doesn't stop."

Both men headed for the flight of stairs.

"Damn you, Douglas," huffed Herc as he clambered up. "I swear these trousers have shrunk a size."

"You just tell yourself that, old thing. I know you have your uniform trousers taken in by a tailor to emphasis your arse. You are such a nancy boy."

"Speak for yourself poofter, with your tongue down my throat."

"Not that we really are--" said Douglas hastily.

"Oh good God no," replied Herc, pushing open the door to disabled loo and pulling Douglas inside. "Just two good friends. It doesn't mean a thing."

"Confident in our masculinity, that's the ticket," said Douglas as he locked the door with one hand while pulling Herc against him with the other. "Up for trying anything once."

"Oh bloody hell, _Douglas_ ," moaned Herc, as Douglas pushed him up against the wall and pushed his tongue deep into his mouth.

Douglas had his hands on the wall on either side of Herc's shoulders, keeping the man pinned with the press of his hips. Herc slid his hands between them and rapidly unbuttoned Douglas's shirt and then his own, pulling them open so they could rub against each other, stomach to stomach, chest to chest.

"Hey, where'd the tits go?" grumbled Douglas. "I love getting a handful."

"I'll give you more than a handful," purred Herc in return, grabbing Douglas's butt and pulling their groins tightly together, rubbing their swelling cocks against each other. 

"Oh God, that's good!" Douglas tipped his head back with eyes closed, letting Herc bite his way down his neck. 

"Captain will do, or sir if you must. _God_ is taking it a bit far," murmured Herc smoothly against Douglas's neck, waiting until his hot breath had Douglas shivering, and then sticking his tongue down the other man's ear.

"Sodding hell, you're an arsehole," exclaimed Douglas pulling back abruptly. He grabbed Herc's groin and squeezed the substantial package he found there in retaliation. 

Herc moaned prettily into his ear. "Fancy some sodding of your arsehole, do you Douglas?"

Douglas pulled back from him. "Woah, we're not going there."

Herc shook his head to clear the haze of lust. "Good grief no, of course not, sorry, just a tease, I'd never actually--"

"No, we couldn't possibly--" There was an awkward pause. "Lots of fun things we can do, though, helping hand and all that," continued Douglas brightly, stepping back to unbuckle both their belts and pull down their zips. He was about to pull his cock out through the slit in his underwear when Herc stopped him. 

"No stains on uniforms, best if it's all well out of the way." Herc pushed until they both had their boxers down round their thighs. 

"Good thinking," murmured Douglas as he brought their bare cocks hot and hard against each other in one of his hands. "Jesus, Herc, you leak like a geyser."

"Convenient, though, isn't it," smirked Herc, tangling his hand with Douglas's to smear his pre-come over both their cocks. They slid together with delicious ease.

"Good heavens, yes, that's fantastic," muttered Douglas. "Still, I've definitely got half an inch on you."

"What utter nonsense. Anyway, I'm thicker and that's what really satisfies a girl."

"Want to take a sportsman-like little bet that you come before I do, lightweight that you are?" challenged Douglas, giving a particularly inspirational twist and pull to their tightly touching cocks.

"Dream on," mumbled Herc, biting down hard on the sensitive skin of Douglas's neck. "No. Wait." He grabbed Douglas's hand to stop the movement.

"Wait?" Douglas demanded incredulously.

"Not stop, just-- Look. We're only doing this the once right? Right. So. Let's not turn it into a race to the finish. Let's-- you know--"

"Take our time?"

"Yes." Herc caught Douglas's mouth again, licking into it with smooth sensuality, touching and teasing softly, nipping with just a hint of teeth.

"Why Herc, you old romantic," murmured Douglas as he ground his hips in a slow tease, letting his free hand drift up the broad flat chest to tease and twist a nipple. Herc retaliated by sliding his hand down past Douglas's tailbone to explore the warm slick depths between his buttocks, relishing the soft gasp he got as he pressed gently against the tight pucker.

"Good grief, oh fuck," muttered Douglas. "I can't say that girls ever take those kind of liberties."

"Hmm, the difference is rather nice, isn't it. Being with someone as tall as me, as strong as me... God, it feels superb," whispered Herc. 

Coherent speech ran dry as they touched and twisted, licked and bit, rubbed and pulled, until they lost the co-ordination to kiss and were just gasping into each other's mouths. "Douglas! Close, so close. Come with me."

"Yes, Herc, fuck.... oh _fucking hell_." Come was pumping out over their intertwined hands, over their tightly pressed cocks, dripping down onto their naked thighs. 

"Well, hell, I guess I see why they call you sex-god Richardson," panted Herc, his mouth soft against Douglas's hair.

"You're none too shabby yourself Shipwright," muttered Douglas, his face pressed against Herc's neck, his chest still heaving. "Well, I guess we'd better clean up and get out of here."

"I guess so."

Neither man moved.

"Once we are out of here, none of this ever happened, right?" said Herc. 

"Right. Back to our wild womanizing ways, just the way it should be."

"Just five more minutes then. It's not like that'll matter."

"Quite right, won't make a bit of difference," agreed Douglas, pulling Herc closer. "Just five more minutes."

\- THE END -


End file.
